So lets see a lot has happened this past week earthquake a hurricane (Irene) what was said to be a tornado . ugh, i was forced to watch the news this week for the sake off my loved ones . i cant stand the news it brings me so down . I don't understand this world and watching news makes me understand it less .I am not arrogant not a bone in my body can relate to that word . I know I am veeeeeery far from being ms perfect but I am glad to say  I hold no hate in my heart for even those that have hurt me. , discontent , pain,disappointment, confusion  at times momentary laps of anger but  no hate. and no desire to do anyone any harm .I am glad to say that there was no lost this time around . I'm glad cause i think this year has been rough enough . although i sit hear still worried for someone very special to me .i don't know how to explain it one of those people that walk into your life's and you feel you know them forever . she was in the airport the last time I heard from her .flight was cancelled and i haven't heard her since . i am thinking maybe the battery of her phone must have died no reception  or some similar story . I miss her so much and have been breaking my head trying to figure out why she means so much to me if i don't even know her that long sometimes it feels like me and her where just destined to meet she came into my life in a time that i really needed someone to talk to someone to listen and she did that very well but sometimes i get scared , life has programmed me in a way that i have friends none which i stick long enough to put myself in a vulnerable state yes hi bye gym buddy lunch partners ,classmates , and even family  see you next week and disappear for moment in between sometimes just days no speaking no communication  but that's just me and the way i guard my heart and have had debates with people over how wrong i am for doing that  ... but i don't want to this time, i miss when i don't hear from her even just one day . i want her around , i miss when shes not and honestly I'm so scared ...